i don't really know how much tequila is too much
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
