i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
