she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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