fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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