Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
