No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
