No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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