Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Randomize
