No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
