Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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