I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
