if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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