my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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