My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
