im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
