Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
