I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
