So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i would punch a child for taco bell
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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