yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
