Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her

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(816): View more from Missouri

Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.

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(510): View more from California

I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting

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(916): View more from California

You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring

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(757): View more from Virginia

This theraflu would make for a great margarita.

(1-757): View more from Virginia

I can make a sudafedarita

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(631): View more from New York

I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"

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(586): View more from Michigan

This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

How do you feel about a threesome?

(817): View more from Texas

Will you be there?

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm the one asking!

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