ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
