Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
