okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
