You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
