dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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