Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
