It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
