Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
