Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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