A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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