it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
