you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
