My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
