Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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