My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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