Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
