Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
