You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
