ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
