I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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