Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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