I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
