Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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