You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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