You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
