scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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