my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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