So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
