I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
