Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
birth control should be required to get into college
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
